Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
