I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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