does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
