okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
