They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
