How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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