I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
