If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
