I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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