I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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