i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You are the jesus of drinking
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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