Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
