I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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