no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
