It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
