Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
