Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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