At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
