I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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