i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
