I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize