I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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