My first STD was from a foam party
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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