I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My legs feel like baby dolphins
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize