I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize