some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She's the barista slut.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat