I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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