A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick