Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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