Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
