to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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