she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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