I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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