You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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