Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You dont lie about slip and slides
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
