We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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