i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
