Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize