Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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