so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
