lets start a swedish sibling band together
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
