I hate your face
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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