I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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