Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
