This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I didn't notice because vodka
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
