I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
