it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Did I show you my penis last night?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize
