Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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