How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
