I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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