if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
