my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
