we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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