you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude