i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
