i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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