i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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