I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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