if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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