The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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