I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize