girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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