She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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