I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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